No wonder I felt so uncomfortable last night, just a symptom that I am falling ill again. unwelcome stuffy nose, keep eating things which I shouldn't eat when ill at home. However, no choice now even if it might aggravate my illness. you just have to get used to it, that's all.

一曲新词酒一杯，
去年天气旧亭台。
夕阳西下几时回？

无可奈何花落去，
似曾相识燕归来。
小园香径独徘徊。

I am so hungry now, eating chocolate does make me happy. It is the first time I tasted merci chocolate all my life, in Germany the price is just half of that in China. It is really delicious. 8 kinds of flavor in one box, each flavor with 2 little bars of choco. hmm. fairy like. I will go to buy more next time I visit the supermarket. If anyone who wants to receive my presents of a box of choco on xmas, please write down her address here.  You know I am talking to you. Did you cry this mid autumn festival? I bet no, you are not the one who wanted to do so by the pond any more.

I begin to miss home already, it is earlier than I think I will and it is later than I should normally do. When I am eating now, I feel disgusted and feel like vomitting. The day before, after I slept in my bed for 10 minutes, I cried suddenly. I controlled it and went back to dream. Last evening when I attended the graduation ceremony, when I heard the guitar, I couldn't help them again. Today when I watched the pictures we took in HK, I wept again. Even if there r really blurry and useless pictures which I took to test my new camera, I still am too stingy to delete them, everything is so dear. Just persist for 2 years and I definitely will leave this place. I like China, and I love Guangdong. I miss the people, the constructions and mostly the food there. I am eating like beggars every day. Foods I don't like at all. I feel sick. It takes me more than an hour to finish my rubbish food.

Tonight, after the seminar for courses and study plan explaination. I joined the class activity and went to the bar inside the university. It is actually the first time which made me feel like that I AM IN GERMANY. No Chinese in my class, no one speaks Chinese. There were many times that I wanna speak Chinese out. Only English or German works now. I have the greatest disadvantages, since other students can understand English much better than me, English is almost their first tongue. I have a great problem in understanding some classmate's accent, though the day I get familiar to it will come. It is such an international class. At the table, the guy seated opposite to me was wearing a jacket with Chinese characters on it, and he told me he is interested in Chinese food and wanna try an egg which is black inside. It took me a long time to understand that he meant "Pi dan" or "Song hua dan". I promised him that next time I go to the asian shop, I will bring him one if I see it. He said he hasnt found it in Germany yet. I didn't hear well where he was originally from, but brought up in Germany, and told me how much percent mongolian blood he has. Amin asked me how did I take that pic when I took in front of the webcam 4 years ago. He asked if I screenshot that from a film, because it quite looks like a movie star in a movie he watched before. Oh, I am getting old so quickly now, I don't look like then already. uglier. Dr. Schneider and Jeffrey are both very kind. Schneider is the course director. He sat beside me from another table in the 2nd half part of the party, asking me questions to show care. He said he is 65, but he just looks like 40. However, in the end of the party, people began to lie about age and posting ad for partners. Jeffrey is so nice. He is as handsome as the picture shows though with a bier belly. He said he is 29 and single. He works for our program as a coodinator. In the middle of the party, I was feeling bored. Once he looked back, perhaps seeing me bored and talk to no one, he waited till I looked up to him to take his smile and give mine to turn back his waist. He is so caring and cheerful. I really dunno what's wrong with western woman, why such a man is still single? The only thing I don't like is that he smokes and drinks. In the party, I am amazed that the western world isn't so dirty at all. People don't get drunk(perhaps for the reason of only 3 glass of drinks for each person at most) and the atmosphere is so harmony. No one will force you to drink which is common in China. 5 girls in the class in total. That's better for none. My fear of getting along with my new classmates wipe out already. And I don't refuse gathering any more, everything is so peaceful and clean.

As a Cantonese, we think it might be toxic or infectious to eat some meat that has been stored in a fridge without heating. So this morning before I ate sandwiches, I just put 3 thin pieces of salami into the baker to have them heaten. After 8 minutes, when I wanted to take them out, it shocked me that how much oil they produced. And the meat itself shrank by half. I am worrying that I have eaten this kind of sausage and meat for so many days, how many times this kind of oil has flown into my body, stored in my organs. I might be getting fatter and fatter unconsciously. Plus that food is too sour here, potato salad is sour, meat is sour, everything is sour.

 

an hour later...